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Lupe's LiveJournal:
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| Tuesday, October 20th, 2009 | | 12:22 pm |
| | Saturday, October 17th, 2009 | | 1:31 am |
Well I never...
I’m sure that most of you are aware that for a variety of reasons brain surgery often takes place while the patient is fully conscious but did you know that until the late 70’s patients were also permitted to smoke during the procedure ? awesome !
| | Friday, October 16th, 2009 | | 6:42 pm |
Giant Crucified Vagina has been Banned!
Message from the Gallery Technician : "15 hours is the official time your work stayed up before being removed from view, the big wigs were taken to see it this morning and though professing to like it, requested it's removel due to it's inappropriate subject matter for a school gallery. They did say it could be just covered over but I took the view, which I thought you may also share, that this gives the impression that we are in some way ashamed of it, rather they ask us to remove it than compromise our artistic integrity. Anyway it is now upstairs in the theatre roof in all it's glory, the funniest scene was when I removed it from the gallery carrying it over my shoulder just like what jesus done all them fictional years ago! News has seemed to spread quite quickly around the campus that there was something in the gallery worth seeing before it was removed, we tried to remove the piece three times, but kept being asked by different members of the art faculty to leave it for a few minutes so they could have a look and take some photos'. So in many respects a success. Hope this is all ok. James P.S. I have left the wooden base and title on top of a plinth where the work used to stand" | | 1:32 am |
Giant crucified Vagina for the Win!
My Giant crucified vagina did pretty well... lots of nice comments. My favorite came about from a couple of German women though: Rat: what did they say ? Lupe: They asked what it was Rat: Isn't it obvious ? Lupe: Not to them. No one was taking a dump on it. | | Wednesday, October 14th, 2009 | | 7:19 pm |
Oh and before I forget
Stephen Gately's autopsy states that the coroner found a small quantity of dried fruit stuffed up his arse... they think the cause of death may have been date rape. | | 6:02 pm |
Fun with physics
Some scientists are suggesting that the Higgs Boson particle might be travelling back in time to sabotage its own creation:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/13/science/space/13lhc.html?_r=3
well ok, not exactly. But it's a fun theory, it boils down to a sort of reverse butterfly effect. 10 years in the future the LHC creates Higgs Boson in a controlled environment but unfortunately it is so abhorrent to all the laws of nature that, through quantum entanglement, it negatively effects the particles responsible for it's own inception which (hit butterfly effect here ) causes an incremental ripple of bad luck to travel back through time ultimately resulting in a technical fault in the machine.
Cool!
| | Sunday, October 4th, 2009 | | 7:50 pm |
Yay for Va-Jay-Jays
Today was spent making a six foot plushy vagina. It's awesome. I'm gash at sewing so the awesome Nikki ran the sewing machine while I handed her the bits and gave usefull commentry like "make sure theres a stuffing hole in the Labia majora" and "I think we need to make the clit bigger" Life is good. | | Thursday, September 24th, 2009 | | 3:21 am |
| | Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 | | 12:40 pm |
| | Wednesday, September 9th, 2009 | | 2:15 am |
Adverts I hate
1: Rowntrees randoms... fuck you monkey socks 2: That one where the kid has lots of pens and the other kid wants a pen but settles for a pen that's also a pencil and then kills the first kid ( except the last bit doesn't happen because that advert sucks ) 3: "We have Noir"... die. 4: The fucking Iams advert with that cat that says he's an Iams cat and then the door bell rings and I always think it's my doorbell but it isn't because it's the fucking Iams advert 5: Actually any advert with a fucking doorbell that makes me think someones at door 6: The one with Stephen fry and Paul Merton. I think it's for insurance or something but who cares, it's just stephen fry and paul merton selling insurance for money. Thanks for killing their credibility insurance company, and thanks fo accepting the cheque Stephen Fry and Paul Merton. 7: 20p is not worth singing about... even if you are black. 8: "they're real lawyers" as opposed to all those fake lawyers I keep finding in cereal packets. 9: Dear pot noodle. How piss off your consumer base. 1: Identify your demographic. 2: Identify their interests. 3: Rip off flight of the conchords. ( Lupe would like to point of that FOTC does nothing for him... but he hates pot noodles too so I guess it equals out ) 10: "we have Noir" ( yeah so it's in their twice but screw it, I hope someone got fired for that clusterfuck ) | | Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009 | | 1:50 am |
plink
Sorry for the lack of updates... but... well... There's a story coming. it's a doozy. Can't talk about it right now because that might screw it up and screwing it up would mean some pretty bad shit, but however it plays out, there's a story coming. And it's pretty damn funny. L. x | | Monday, January 5th, 2009 | | 11:08 am |
Report from the council of "no one being surprised whatsoever " Rupert Murdoch’s an idiot.
New years resolution. start blogging again.
It'll come as no surprise to anyone that Fox news have discovered yet another way to make themselves sound like the retarded inbred cousin of an actual news outlet.
Ladies and Gentlemen introducing the "Homicide bomber"
Apparently, a recent focus group for the ministry of making Fox just a little tiny bit more conservative than your average flag waving, gun toting, black burning, bible bashing red neck Klan member, decided that "Suicide bomber" really didn't emphasise the Homicidal aspect of blowing people up to their satisfaction.
Go figure.
Now I know that one or two of you who dabble in the English language may be saying to yourselves, isn't calling a bombing homicidal just a tad redundant ? Doesn't the fact that it's a bomb and that it's going off in a public place with the intent of killing people sort of already make it homicidal ?
Apparently not. According to Fox news the point of the phrase "Homicide bomber" is to really emphasise the homicidal aspect of the bombing over any pertinent information, like, for example, the fact that the bomber felt so strongly about the situation that they chose to commit suicide.
See what they did there ? they took the useful information out of the phrase and replaced it with information that was already implied in the word "bomber" It's sort of like adding value except completely the opposite and with extra dumbass.
Of course, despite what they claim, Fox hasn't made this change for anything as noble as linguistic comprehension. That would suggest they had a soul or something. No, Fox has done this to ruffle a few feathers amongst the woolly liberal pinko lefty tree hugging brigade. It's designed simply to piss off democrats. But seriously, you're preaching to the converted, they already hate your guts, did you really have to piss on the news to make your point ? Of course the irony of the situation, no doubt lost on Rupert Murdoch’s neophytes is that by removing the suicide aspect they have shifted the focus away from the arseholes who are going round convincing dumb kids that blowing themselves up for Islam is a really rocking way to get into heaven, and shifted it back to their actual goal which is blowing up Palestinians. But who gives a crap about that when we can piss off some hippies ? Go team ! | | Tuesday, May 20th, 2008 | | 4:02 pm |
| | Wednesday, May 14th, 2008 | | 1:39 pm |
Scooby Doo
Tales from the library: Upstairs we have a series of five small rooms, each about the size of a walk in closet. Students can get a key from us and lock themselves in. Little private study rooms. These are very popular and by about 11:00 most are booked out for the day. All except room 1. Room 1 is always the last to go, if it goes at all. If you offer it to a student they will always ask if there are any others. If there aren’t they’ll often decide to work somewhere else rather than use room 1. Unlike the other rooms, room one is the furthest room on the left. it’s left hand wall is just a ingle sheet of glass looking out over the two storey drop that makes up the central hallway of the library. If you sit in room 1, not only can everyone see you, but you can see the drop. It’s quite unpleasant. This, it was assumed, was the reason no one wanted to use room 1. Assumed That is until about 10 minutes ago Old Asian Student: Hi, can I have the key to one of the study rooms ? Lupe: sure… Only room one left I’m afraid Student: Oh… no I don’t want room one Lupe: ok. No one ever does. Student. Of course not. The ghost. Lupe: what ? Student: there’s a ghost in room one. He watches you and sometimes touches you. Especially the girls. All students know about the ghost. You should close that room. It’s bad. Lupe: er… Student: I’ll just work down here. So there you have it. Apparently this three year old building is haunted. Cool! | | Monday, May 12th, 2008 | | 10:42 am |
| | Sunday, May 11th, 2008 | | 11:29 pm |
what's wrong with corporations today ?
I was part of a corporate focus group on Friday. We were looking at customer service via telephone helpdesks. They asked us to write down what we want and expect when we call a company with a question regarding an account.
I decided to take it seriously.
I said I wanted the phone answered within three rings. There should be a person at the end of it who knew the answer to my question and / or did exactly what I said. If there were other parties that needed contacting regarding my query then it was their job to talk to them and sort it out. I wanted complete respect and dedication to solving my problem. I wanted to be able to wake the CEO up at 3am to get the thing sorted out if I wanted to. I wanted the name of who I was talking to and their direct phone number so I could follow up my query whenever I felt like it knowing that the same person would be dealing with it. I wanted them to realise that they worked for me and to do absolutely anything I said regardless of their own opinion.
It's what I want. When I phone my bank, my insurance, my local MP. Its what I want.
We then spent the rest of the meeting discussing how we would never be able to provide that service to our clients and finding ways to make sure we woul never have to.
That's whats wrong with corporations today.
| | Sunday, May 4th, 2008 | | 12:59 pm |
Lupe Negotiates with Pikeys
Lupe: Hi... er... your vans have been parked outside my house for two days now... when are they moving ? Pikey: Er, oi, well y'see n' all that... Lupe: Your van won't be there tomorrow. Pikey: Well y'see n' all... Lupe: That wasn't a question. The Pikeys have left the arena. | | Wednesday, April 30th, 2008 | | 11:40 pm |
It could be you !
And if you live in the UK and play the lottery, it probably was.
So congratulations everyone who won the lottery tonight...
all 45,000 of you...
I figure, with the jackpot standing at around eleven million you all won... er... about £230
I bet tomorrow is going to see a lot of rash promises being taken back. | | 1:39 pm |
"Ye mean... this is normal ?"
*ring ring*
Lupe: Hello library helpdesk how can I help ?
Man with scottish accent: Aye, ken ye understand me ?
Lupe: er... yes
Man: AYe good ! well I need an athens password
Man goes on to explain to Lupe he needs a password, Lupe sorts him out, no problem. All this in a perfectly understandable not even broad scottish accent. Then this happens.
Man: So aye, tahnks a lot mon!
Lupe: No problem
Man: No it's greet, reelly greet see I have this awful speach impedement and people can barely understand anything I say.
Lupe: Er... welll you sound fine to me ?
Man: What ?
Lupe: You sound fine...
Man: Are you takin the piss mon ? listen to me ?!?
Lupe: You sound fine... It's just a scottish accent
Man: Wah ? I sound like I'm chewin ona brick !
Lupe: It's just a scottish accent...
Man: Tis nae, tis a speach impedement !
Lupe: Well... er... ok
Man: Ye can really understand me?
Lupe: yes
Man: an I sound fine ?
Lupe: Yes...
Man: but me mates they say that... aye I goona kill em!
| | Tuesday, April 29th, 2008 | | 4:19 pm |
Put them back in the cellar
This Austrian situation has shocked me to the very core:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7373689.stm
I just find the logistics and motivation completely incomprehesible. Of course all the facts aren't in yet so it's hard to get a grip on exactly what state these kids ( and their mother ) are in but, as the facts start to trickle through about their complete isolation I'm seriously starting to think that the kindest thing the government could do would be to convince them their rescue was a wacky dream and lock them back up in the cellar.
Not the most popular position I know.
But lets consider it from their perspective. First of all we need to get rid of the natural assumption that the last 24 years has been a horrific experience for them. As crazy as it sounds I seriously doubt it was that bad. The two kids who were born and grew up in the cellar know no other life. They will have grown into their lifestyle which, even though to us seems dreadful, was completely normal to them. Though their lives were undoubtedly different to other children’s, the process of emotional development would have been the same. There would have been highs and lows, fear and joy.
Like Feral Children, our feelings about their condition are based on our sense of normality which is completely different from theirs.
It seems that there is a lot more to come out about this story but lets assume the father is their only other human contact. He's undoubtedly a monster but I doubt the children view him as such. As the only external influence he was the provider of their entire world, heat, food, water, stimulus, Had they been abducted with some understanding of a different life things would be different, but born into it ? They likely view him as a benevolent god like figure. Any physical pain he caused them pales compared to what he provided which in their case was everything, physical and emotional. Terrifying as it sounds I suspect they love him dearly.
Far from a dungeon of terror, these children have been ripped from their sanctuary and exposed to a terrifying world that makes no sense for them. I suspect that they're currently far more frightened than they ever were in the cellar and, sickening as the thought may be, I expect they're praying for their father to walk through the door, take them home, and end the horrible nightmare they've found themselves in.
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